“Feeling deserving of having money and accepting my decisions around spending it may be my greatest struggle. Perhaps accepting the struggle is what self-compassion looks like – knowing that I may never get it right, but loving myself anyway.”
It is said that it is better to give than receive, but I’m inclined to think they are necessary in equal measure. The trick is to overcome my discomfort with receiving so I can enjoy whatever is given.
The onslaught of requests for money on the street and in social media, fill me with a desire to help, but also guilt, fear of judgment, and resentment. Saying yes to alleviate my discomfort, though, leaves me ineffective. So I am learning to answer from my heart rather than guilt and to love myself in the discomfort of saying no.
“I don’t need to diminish my needs or become someone else to be able to love and forgive. In fact, I can only love and forgive others when I stop expecting them and me to be someone other than who we are.”
How No Saint Jennifer learned that letting go is not a magical place of ease, but requires acceptance of her persistent nature, acknowledging her thoughts, then letting them go, again and again.
No Saint Jennifer discovers that we are all doing our best and in the process finds new ways to love herself and others more.
An angry confrontation with a halloween prankster with a bat led No Saint Jennifer to new lessons in anger management and self-compassion.
I have an irrational, but deep-seated fear of hell that has regularly prevented me from changing beliefs and behaviors that don’t serve me. A series of conversations with Jesus, including how I don’t believe in him as God, helped me to overcome that fear and see that I am loved and loveable as I am.
I started the week in the sleepy and loving embrace of my niece and nephew. In a week of daily prayer practice God showed me moment after moment of when I was loved. How many times do I need to be shown to believe that I am loveable?
“Where do you see God’s love in all this anger?” “God’s not there. If God loves me when I behave badly, then I’ll never change.” But then I remembered loving my nephew in the midst of a tantrum. Could that apply to me?